Shit Happened While I Was Sleeping

Launch of Atlas V Juno from Cape Canaveral AFS
Launch of Atlas V Juno from Cape Canaveral AFS
Today I read a story about a three-stage rocket that has just put a spy satellite into orbit.

“… a respected independent satellite analyst said before launch that he believed the payload likely is the first in a new series of communications stations designed to relay imagery from current and future high-resolution optical spy satellites.

The conclusion was based on the rocket’s trajectory …. indicated the satellite was bound for an orbit 22,300 miles above the equator where communications relay stations are positioned.

This was the 64th successful launch in a row of an Atlas 5 since the rocket’s maiden flight in 2002 and the fourth of 10 flights planned this year. It was the 70th flight of an RD-180 first-stage engine and the 13th for the Centaur stage’s RL10C-1 engine.”

I’m thinking – wow, that’s a whole lot of satellites just for one rocket model. And I’m thinking, shaking my head, that when you take every launch in the past ten years you have 500+ satellites our peaceful democratic state has in orbit.

Hey, I start thinking, it must be all those satellites that let young dudes sitting front of TVs in Nevada kill everyone in a house in Pakistan in real time.

Then I started thinking, holy shit, it won’t be long before they can see through walls from space, and listen to people’s voices and match voiceprints, or spot a particular person walking down the street in Kabul or Kansas City, and pinpoint the exact location of any person they want. (Already can.)

The weapons are still a little messy – blowing up innocent people by accident and all. But it won’t be long before we’ll simply be able to zap someone with a beam from space. (Already can.)

Er- correction. They will be able to zap anyone from space. Right through the top of their goddamn terrorist head. Poof. Anyone. Anywhere. Any terrorist. Walking down the street. Sleeping. Taking a shit in an outhouse (nobody can say those guys in Nevada don’t have a sense of humor).

And They are not Us because you can bet that any of Us who get out of hand starting sometime in the near future will get the old terrorist treatment from space pretty damned quick.

See – They have these secret courts that They can go to and get permission to kill anyone, anywhere, including now any of Us because its legal for the US government to hunt and kill Americans as long as the secret courts agree, and the courts always agree.

So They are all fucking set, aren’t They? Because that shitload of satellites up there in space isn’t about making our smartphone reception better.

And I totally missed all this the past few years except to notice the pretty pictures of “another successful rocket launch with a communications satellite” once in a while.

Silly me.

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