Scientists have announced a remarkable device that is implanted surgically and pumps your food out as soon as you’ve eaten it. They call it the answer to obesity, suitable for just about everyone.

Eat, enjoy, pump.

Well, at a minimum I suppose its better than fingers down the throat because at least you don’t damage your esophagus barfing up all that stomach acid.

This remarkable invention is evidently clean and santiary too. Your chewed and swallowed food is pumped right out before it can be digested. Of course you better be standing by the toilet or have a bucket handy.

Just think – no more nasty bowel movements. Chew, swallow, pump, flush. The savings on TP alone might be worth the implant!

And if you have pets there could even be some big savings there too. The phrase “doggie bag” unfortunately comes to mind.

https://www.rt.com/usa/347369-stomach-pumping-obesity-fda/

On the other hand, wouldn’t a nice cup of Coca Leaf tea a few times a day be a little less, um, complicated? After all, there’s plenty of evidence that Coca Leaf tea can be a safe, natural way to treat obesity.